entropy is one of the few chemistry words i remember from school.

entropy: a measure of disorder; creating disorder

…. okay, so what about entropy?

lately, i've been feeling stuck and annoyed that i haven't progressed in any way

well... maybe more like i haven't progressed in the way i've been wanting to. where does that timeline come from, idk tbh. is it my environment, media, family, friends, or those around me? idk.

it's like self-doubt has crept in and is holding me back from taking action.

do you know how long it took me to get this out?

to have the courage to reach out to people, create pieces, work on the website

do anything?????

i imagine all the ways things could go wrong, and it's easy to get caught up in "what if" thinking [too easy].

but the truth is,

i don't have time to waste on self-doubt and uncertainty.

time is always moving forward
it does not wait

i know i need to break down the patterns within myself

taking risks, being driven enough to be able to fail, and being able to put myself out there and be seen and heard

if i ever want to progress and make something of myself, i need to start {{disrupting the order}}.

the key to breaking this mindset is to just do.

[yes i know cliche af, nike and all that but that’s just it]

i need to stop filling myself with "what if"

what if what if what if what if what if what if what if what if what if what if what if what if what ifw

even if i don't have all the means or resources i need, i can still

do something.

entropy is me telling myself to fucking let go of the draining patterns that don’t get me anywhere and do shit.

kessler okoroafor